Fusigi Yuugi Madness
by Everqueen
Summary: Don't have another name for this. Basically it's a wacked out dream that Tasuki has due to his drinking. Funny stuff.


This is just a quick short about the FY gang in an alternate setting. I don't own anything in this story but the idea.

The redhead was sitting in the middle of the temple, silently meditating on the golden statue of arches before him. He was sending praise to their god, the mighty McDonald. He heard small feet running towards the door and he raised his head, amber eyes narrowing slightly as a small monk came running into the room. Once again, Chichiri was in chibi form. "Tasuki, no da."

Tasuki smiled at the little monk. "Hey Chichiri, would you like to meditate with me? Maybe have some tea?" The blue haired seishi stood staring in shock at the bandit. "Are you kidding, no da? Do you not feel well, no da? You know I hate doing that shit, na no da."

The chibi grabbed the jacket clad arm of his friend. "Come on, Tasuki-chan. I need help washing my hair. You know I can't do it alone." The bandit sighed and stood, following the monk of Ronald McDonald out of the shrine, below the golden arches and towards the palace. Up ahead he could see Tamahome and Hotohori having another eatting contest, their stomach's growing exaggeratingly larger with each food item that is shoved into their gaping holes. Beside them sat Miaka and Nuriko, the Priestess of McDonald and the willow seishi. They were watching the boys with stars in their eyes and from this distance could be heard cheering them on. 

Chichiri had also stopped to watch the sight and the small monk sighed at his right. "They really should stay off the reefer, man, no da." Tasuki nodded and led the monk towards his room, to wash his hair.

The bandit was relaxed in a chair, keeping an eye on the little monk playing with his boats in the tub. He was now squeeky clean and his hair was laying flat like it always does when he is first washed. Tasuki never had the courage to ask the monk how he got his hair to stand up on end. The one time Miaka had done so, Chichiri had said he does it in a "Something about Mary" way. Tasuki had never understood what that meant, but it must have been something bad and perverted because Miaka had turned green and then burst into laughter. However she had always refused to touch Chichiri's hair after that.

He glanced up from his mussings to smile at the splashing chibi, who was crashing his boats together. "Having fun, Chichiri?"

"Hai, no da. This is the greatest, no da. Thank you for washing my hair, Tasuki-chan, no da." The small seishi playfully batted the water with the boat. "WHEEEEE, NO DA!"

Tasuki chuckled and rose, grabbing the large fluffy elmo towel from the hook. "Ok, Chichiri-chan, time to get out." The little monk hopped out of the tub and into the towel, snuggling it around him. Tasuki quickly helped the monk dry off and then dress in his normal garb. After that was done the little monk settled before the bandit and Tasuki brushed his hair. "How do you want me to style it today?"

The monk thought for awhile. "Hmmmm, how about a braid, no da?" Tasuki nodded and thanked Ronald McDonald silently for the blessing his 5 older bossy sister were. He had learned how to do many elaborate hair styles growing up in that household.

When the monk was suitably dressed and hair done, Tasuki led him out of the room and towards the dining room, as it was getting towards lunch time. They made it about five steps, well, Tasuki about five steps. The little monk was clinging to Tasuki's hand and da-ing as he skipped and jumped and hopped instead of walking.

From above was a loud cry of "SUPERMAN" and Chichiri and Tasuki both glanced up in time to see Mitsukake in a familiar jumpsuit, red cape flying behind him and he launched himself off the roof and quickly splatted on the ground. No sooner was the healer down then a black dressed figure with a mask and a cape also flew off the roof, holding onto a line and swung over their heads, shouting "The bat flies in the night."

Chiriko landed safely next to Mitsukake and then proceeded to laugh his head off at the unconscience healer. Chichiri sighed softly as he and Tasuki proceeded on, both leaving the two superheroes to their play. "Those two should stay away from the sake, no da."

The bandit nodded "Yeah, no joke."

The two walked towards the dining room and then towards the counter to place their order. "Hi welcome to the Konan Shrine of McDonald's, may we take your order?" The servant behind the counter smiled brightly and Chichiri grabbed hold of the counter and jumped up, his feet not touching the floor, as he used his arms to hang off the counter. The servant smiled down to the little monk, the expression on her face saying 'Awwww, he's so adorable'. Chichiri's mask made big puppy dog eyes. "Can I get a happy meal with a LAAARRRGGGEEE chocolate milkshake, no da?" When he said "large" he spread his arms out as wide as he could and promptly fell to the floor. The servant coo'd at the cute chibi on the floor who was looking up at Tasuki with those big puppy dog eyes on his mask. The bandit stooped and scooped up the monk, giving him a hug. "You have to be more careful, Chichiri-chan. Did you get a boo-boo?"

The monk nodded, sniffling as the servant made cooing and clucking noises at them. "Uh huh, no da. I hurt my knee, no da." Chichiri pointed to the offending knee and Tasuki raised it to his lips and kissed the hurt away. "All better?"

"Hai, no da."

Tasuki nodded and set the monk down and then ordered himself a salad and some water. The tray was filled promptly and they walked around the mess of empty tables towards the large one where Emperor Hotohori sat at the elaborate chair at the head of the table, spacing out and watching Nuriko belly dance for his entertainment. Tamahome was still eatting and Tasuki wondered where the ogre seishi was putting it all. Miaka was finally eating, although this was probably her first chicken nugget. How that girl managed to not waste away to nothing, he didn't know.

Tasuki and Chichiri sat at the other end of the table as the superheroes enterred the room, bounding towards the counter, to order their superhero meals, as always. Tasuki set Chichiri in a booster seat and then sat across from him, making sure to spread the chibi's meal out and putting a straw in the shake cup. The little hands grabbed the shake first and Tasuki sighed, settling in to enjoy his salad with the company of his friends.

He glanced down the table, where Nuriko was now wearing her catwoman outfit, although the bulge in the crotch spoke of Nuriko's true sex. She and Batman were having a french fry war. Hotohori had come enough out of his stupor to watch Nuriko with interest as the willow played around. Tamahome was still unaware of anything but the magically refilling tray placed before him. Miaka had finally finished her one nugget and was moaning how she was so full. 

Tasuki glanced towards Chichiri, who had finished his meal and was holding his shake with one hand, sipping on it and playing with the little Tasuki action figure from the happy meal with the other. Tasuki reached over and picked up the bag, reading it aloud. "Tasuki Action Figure. With real Rekka Shinen power." A small cheer of delight and some cussing made him look up as the figure's tessen let loose a burst of fire, that flew down the table, scourching the still oblivious Tamahome. The others turned to stare at him. "Sorry." 

The group was silent for a moment, except for Chichiri's da-ing and the sound of Tamahome eatting before their was a group stampede, racing for the counter. Soon all had little Tasuki action figures and had aimed them all at Tamahome, who was still oblivious. They all looked at Tasuki expectantly and he sighed softly.

"Rekka Shinen" Flames shot out and surrounded Tamahome. When they died off, the burnt to a crisp seishi finally looked up and glanced around in surprise at his friends. "Do I smell barbeque? Waiter, bring me some barbeque." The group all face vaulted.

Later that night, Tasuki was tucking the sleepy chibi into bed, little arms around his elmo doll. Tasuki gently removed the mask and smiled at the sleepy blinking of Chichiri's eye. "Well, do you want me to read you a story?"

Sleepy nod and the monk snapped his fingers and a book appeared in Tasuki's hand. He sighed when he read the title. "Fine." He opened it up to the first page and the chibi cheered and then settled down to hear the story, eyes already drifting shut.

"There once was a man from nantucket, whose..."

Tasuki shot upright in bed with a slight scream. The pounding in his head caused him to curl downwards toward the bed and moan in pain. "Fuck."

"Are you ok, Tasuki, no da?" The bandit glanced up at his friend, who was sitting up sleepily on the other bed in the room, mask off, only in a shirt. "Hai, Chichiri. Just had a very strange dream."

The monk stared at him dubiously and then nodded. "Well, if you are sure you are ok, no da."

The bandit nodded "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He laid back down and heard the monk do the same. In a moment Chichiri's breathing evened out and Tasuki groaned as sleep over took him again. "Fuck, I need ta stop drinking sake before bed."

(Man, migraines and medicine will give you some strange dreams. This is pretty much the basis of my dream last night, although I am sure it was very different. I thought it would be fun to write, so I typed it out this morning after I woke. I hope you all enjoy it. This was a one shot, but please let me know if you liked it. Just some crazy dream of Tasuki. Man, and is it me, or was Nuriko really not out of character at all/wink Everqueen) 


End file.
